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Maladaptive Daydreaming

by mlady

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1.
Magic 03:33
blunted edge, flattery i wander through a dark room bruise my arm and hit my knees on carefully spun half truths ain't it magic when the sun drops lower it's hard to see you're lying when the lights go lower i don't know why you and i believe fireworks inside my eyes is there such a thing as darkness? salty floods fall from the skies an annual catharsis ain't it magic when the sun drops lower it's hard to see you're lying when the lights go lower i don't know why you and i believe
2.
Proximity 04:05
does distance make the heart grow fonder or does distance just mean that you're farther you want what you can see your hands touch what they can reach we're just creatures of proximity i think i read once that monkeys don't care about other monkeys unless they're there they've got community some daily company don't pine for what they cannot see they're just creatures of proximity i'm not saying i've got thicker skin than you i just know i stopped all my looking after you and i don't know why we keep playing pretend we both know it's complicated my stomach hurts when i think about it and i can't sleep, my heads too crowded you want what's best for me i think that's what you mean i hate it selfishly cause we're creatures of proximity i'm not saying i've got thicker skin than you i just know i stopped all my looking after you and i don't know why we keep playing like we're friends we both know it's complicated we both know it's complicated we both know it's complicated
3.
Watched you leave me in your former place Satisfaction smeared along your face You don't need me, I don't need you finally I don't want this hanging over me Heard you moved out right across the road Heard she's cool and smarter than she knows Did she help you cut your boxes open too? Wish I never had the chance to know you Would you believe me if I said I miss you Do you believe me when I lie? What if I told you it's a moral issue Would that make it justified? Alright Nail your handmade paintings to the wall Keep your daydreams, matching retinol I don't know the place that you call home anymore Every wish I made I know I'll pay for Would you believe me if I said I missed you Did you believe me when I lied? What if I told you it's a moral issue Would that make it justified? Would you believe it if I didn't miss you Sorry about the times I've lied I've always known that I'm a moral issue One day I'll be purified Alright
4.
you said i oughtta try a different tuning so i guess in part i owe this song to you the park was still the air was barely moving we climbed on towers to swallow up the view you asked me what i thought was in the branches we watched the spiders tiptoe past our shoes and wondered if they're on their second chances and wondered if i've done enough or if i'll be a spider next time too i could spin a web instead of lies in lieu of hearts ill just leech from the flies that crowd my head and blind my eyes i'm tired still from staying up so late there it's hard to sleep when you're away from home but insects don't live long enough to travel at least it's short enough to let things go i could live my life awake at night hiding in the corners safe from life that fogs my brain and blinds my eyes you're not scared of me maybe you should be
5.
Soda 03:35
first time you had a sip you crinkled up your nose but still you took another drink we're getting older but it's all just dominoes we're drawn like insects to what's sweet i like you better than the bed i sleep in you give more than i'm comfortable receiving your silence always was the most revealing quit concealing what you're feeling you're the wind in my wings you're the gust in my sails salivate when i see ya, you're ginger ale you're a billowing breeze crave you more than my smoke cloyingly sweet, you're just like coke i hope you know that you're soda you're soda you're so delightful your only vice is frosted white confetti cake i guess we really never change i'm always caving for that hit of dopamine you're my repeated sweet mistake i like you better than the bed i sleep in you give more than i'm comfortable receiving your silence always was the most revealing quit concealing what you're feeling you're the wind in my wings you're the gust in my sails salivate when i see ya, you're ginger ale you're a billowing breeze crave you more than my smoke cloyingly sweet, you're just like coke you're a beam of the sun cutting through foggy gray wish i could quit you're tooth decay you're the dust in my breeze breathe you in and i'll choke try to consume your overflow i hope you know that you're soda you're soda you're so delightful
6.
Sadder Days 04:11
sadder days are for the boys what can i say, i guess the others are for us when i see you i see angels when i cry we cry together when i see you i see angels when you cry i cry with you saturdays are here and gone too soon i think every day should kick off after noon when i see you i see angels when i cry we cry together when i see you i see angels when you cry i cry with you take me away honey take me away when i see you i see angels when i cry we cry together when i see you i see angels when you cry i cry with you
7.
there's a hole that lives inside of me it feels like it might swallow me i don't wanna fight it off anymore i can't get you off my mind anymore anymore we walked to the ocean and took off all our clothes to swim it makes you feel so small, don't you agree a tiny speck forgotten in mother earth's cavity the stars are infinite above me your cross sits miles in front of me i'm an insect crushed so easily this black hole might be small comparatively
8.
wore my shoes down scraping up the sidewalk turning corners to the pot shop down the road from where we got dropped off that saturday we checked out dripping years from every account watching lines collect on our mouths spreading downward at alarming speeds when do you know when do you know to let it die it's starting to show in the way that we talk, you and i so let's stop, redefine can't keep straddling this line when do you know to pull in close or say goodbye crispy air keeps biting at my fingers slinking underneath my sleeves we're walking fast because we're older anatomically speaking we're still living in a daydream challenging our younger routines it's a trial on a balance beam when do you know when do you know to let it die it's starting to show in the way that we talk, you and i so let's stop, redefine can't keep straddling this line when do you know to pull in close or say goodbye and it's unclear if we'd make it we stick together, no i'm drowning here we're alone and naked swimming in it, oh you reappear and that's why i'm ready to try cause i don't want to say goodbye
9.
Class of 09 03:53
you saw me skipping class as you walked by me you were really hauling ass i found it surprisingly charming to watch you run down to history with a hole in the knee of your jeans in the cafeteria i walked by your table thought about stopping by my legs weren't able they wobbled away from you why can't my body and my mind find a way to agree i see you and everything will fall away fall away fall away but i know pretty soon you'll be far away far away far away you are a bomb that went off inside of me and i don't ever wanna scrub my walls clean stood by you at the game and we bumped elbows could've sworn you held yours there our hands in the shadows just twining like trumpet vines searching for something to hold onto a place in the sun i see you and everything will fall away fall away fall away but i know pretty soon you'll be far away far away far away you are a bomb that went off inside of me and i don't ever wanna scrub my walls clean
10.
Pressure 04:20
Wish I wasn't stuck on why I spend my days now in a high to forget it It's the pressure building up behind my eyes My old friend, I need it Saw you argue from your tower Tried not to check back every hour It's not easy Cause we're fading and I'm losing my power I miss it, I need it And I know this is a cycle Leaving Chicago won't change anything And I know I'm in denial But once in a while it gets through to me Watched the curtains exhalation They join me on my exploration We're all breathing We're alive but I'm still stuck on the causation I'm searching, I'm reaching And I know this is a cycle Leaving Chicago didn't fix anything And I know I read the Bible But only denial and guilt followed me I know I read the Bible But only denial and guilt followed me credits
11.
I'm gonna love you for a hundred years Through suffering and celebration dear Cause only you can make my lies come true You can make lies real You can make me feel Like drinking wine in the shade all afternoon You keep finding and reminding me That you only can be kind to me When you got with me and started dreaming my dreams But darlin there's a gun in the garland And you need to know That the dream is not all dream Room games and diamond rain It's a fox hunt It's an f stop It's a ten acre wood Outbound on a western train It costs a quarter, man Out on the border land I can dance real good Real good A freight train rattles a chandelier If we're like plug in reindeer Whose cords can't stretch far enough to fly We're gonna take a ride in the dirt We're gonna die til it doesn't hurt Then they can bury us side by side Room games and diamond rain It's a fox hunt It's an f stop It's a ten acre wood Outbound on a western train It costs a quarter, man Out on the border land I can dance real good Real good

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released March 31, 2021

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mlady Denver, Colorado

emotionally indulgent dreamy pop

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